This Fathers’ Day, I thought I would share some life lessons my son has taught me…
1. The toilet is not just for sitting on for an hour with the newspaper
Why waste time sitting in the downstairs loo, in peace and quiet, with a newspaper? Instead you can constantly flush the toilet and see if any of the following items will go down: rolls of toilet paper, shampoo bottles, deodorant sticks, boxes, stuff I retrieve from the bin, phones, toys and money. Brilliant fun for at least 40 minutes.
2. Email and ‘computing’ in general is boring and a total waste of time
This tapping away on a computer thing is boring. It’s best ended with a lightning fast but silent approach to Daddy and his machine, followed by rapid pounding on the keyboard, resulting in immediate send, close and machine shut-down. Job done.
3. The late morning siesta makes up for that sleep lost overnight
“Daddy, why are you so tired? If you can’t make up for that sleep lost because I wanted a reading of “The Gruffalo’s Child” at 5:45 this morning, that’s your problem. If you want me between the hours of 11 and 1, I’ll be in my room having a princely snooze. What’s that? You’ll be at work, trying to think straight? Sort your life out.”
4. Rereading the same book over and over is required to fully understand the text
When we finish the book, we may begin the book again. There are subtexts to be unearthed and further interpretations to be explored. Sometimes we’ll also need to jump ahead (or back) a few pages too. To link up themes and stuff.
5. In the following order, vehicles are amazing and magic
This order is: cars, trucks, buses and then - most incredible of all - lads on bicycles. Why aren’t you exclted? Look at that technology man! It’s basically magic!
6. The packaging is more fun than the thing itself
The box is often more fun than the thing which came inside it. Just sayin’. Most things are just that thing. But a box… a box can be anything Daddy. The best lesson of the lot.